A drag and a lesson
Whew. I have not written in quite some time and I miss it so here I am.
*Disclaimer: if you are new to my blog, I want to be extremely transparent: English is NOT my first language. At times, it is likely that I will share a reference that is 94% accurate -- ride the wave of the missing 6% with me, will you? :)
I just recently wrapped up my birth-range (because over the course of a year we live so much life and I will not limit my celebrations to just one day). In this birth-range, I’ve spent some time reflecting on reflected on twenty-three -- the good, bad, ugly, up, down and everything in between. Here is my conclusion: life is funny like that.
I am generally an optimistic person. You know we all have that friend that you go to for a “it will absolutely be okay..this is all part of the..” yeah, that’s me. I am that friend. But this year had me questioning whether it will really “all be okay”. I experienced transition in a BIG way time and had a few talks with God about “stop that, your joke is running too long.” talks with God. In the midst of all of this, I learned that even when we want to look at the glass half full, our minds, bodies and even some of our souls carry the weight of how half empty it looks -- in those moments, I found that it is most critical to remember that we (you and I and all of us) have everything we need to fulfill our purpose and “this” is all a part of the journey. Here are a few drags that I now look at as lessons ( a little beauty for ashes, if you will).
Change is inevitable
Okay, this one right here ...el oh el with me. We have all heard that change is inevitable, that it is a part of life and that the most successful people learn how to adapt adjust to change and make peace with it. SO -- given the millions of insta posts that have reiterated this point, you would think we would all be prepared for it when it happens ...no. Not at all. I am one of those people that love (lives for actually) comfort and familiar situations. I like to know where I am, who I am with, how we are going to the next place, job, event, hairstyle, whatever. For example, I loved undergrad. I enjoyed my time as a good tarheel. I really made the place and people my home. And then, I graduated and to add injury to insult (Ii think this is the phrase), I moved back home * upside down smiling face emoji* to my African parents ( for those of you that are African, I know y’all feel meeeeeee), stayed at home as I awaited my start date waited for my job to start and then started a new job...boy, all at once. Everything that I had known as familiar/, comfortable etc was quite literally lifted from under me. To make matters worse, I was b r o k e (broque because forever bougie) during the gap between undergrad and starting work. My nails were embarrassing, my hair was eight weeks in, my closure was looking open, my sew-in was tapped out, like literally out for the count. And I started to carry the weight, like physically ( I was putting on weight). Doubt started to seep into my pores and I would literally question if I was doing enough, why I didn't have enough, why I was back home, etc. Honestly, if I let my mind wander too deep into those thoughts, I would have missed the opportunity for the lesson: change is inevitable. It is going to happen, and it is going to happen frequently. There were many, many, many (many) days where I debated just staying in bed and writing the day off BUT *play fight song* most of those days, I thought about my life removed from the hopelessness I was feeling in the moment, and made the active decision to get up, go to the gym, journal, hangout with my friends and call it a day. I am in no way dismissing the emotions I was experiencing, but I did have to learn that getting up (for me) was always the better choice. Just trying, giving it what I had for the day (even when I felt like I didn't have much) was better (for me) than just doing nothing. This drag taught me that sometimes the most we can do when change hits us ( and we can't afford a new sew-in or a haircut) is get up and give that day (week/month/year) our best shot.
We were created to go through life with people. Let people be there for you
Too often I blur the line between “I am independent” and “let people help you”. There are seriously times where my brain refuses to let those two things coexist. But plainly put, and God is my witness, had it not been for the people in my life that dragged me out of bed ( I know y'all saw the mirror pics), answered calls at ungodly hours, and quite literally reassured me that “girl, you’ll be fine” I could not have seen these drags in a lighter light. I really love good friendships. I couldn't imagine this past year without the people that were willing to allow me to go through while simultaneously encouraging me to go up. Too often, I am stubborn and think that I need to “figure it out” or go through things on my own but I have humbly learned that there’s beauty in vulnerability and reaching out does not (does not) make you weak.
If anyone reading is like me, you’ve spent your 2-3 minutes reading this and you’re ready for me to wrap it up..so I’llill do a PT 2 soon.
But in all seriousness, life never says “ hey, this change is about to happen-- do you want it?” Life just happens and change is an inevitable part of it. What we can control however, is the lens in which we choose to evaluate the change and how we allow the change to shape our experiences-- one breathe, step and day at a time. At the end of the day, life is funny like that -- let’s laugh with it.